DELL SUCKS!!!

Disclaimer: this is a joke, believe it or not there are vendors I hate more

Why are there so many different cables for the same crap, was it that hard to think it through before designing all of this?
If you went through the trouble of having a separate part for each fucking dell server, why don't they all fit nicely then? Why the fuck are all the NVMe cables crammed on one side in an R640 together with other backplane cables???
Why does the iDRAC 8 freeze so fucking much?
Why has the iDRAC 9 become so much slower after updates, the UI looks basically the same, but it's 3 times slower!!
Why do your power supplies sometimes just brick themselves during an update, and why the fuck does the iDRAC then see the bricked power supply as having a firmware version "00.00.00" and think it's outdated, only to run another update on the working power supply twice and brick it too?????
Please don't feed a giant xml file containing all the firmware releases into the poor iDRAC, it is already slow as is.
Ooops, did I say all releases? Where is the power supply firmware? Where is CPLD? Why are things like hard drive firmware updated individually for different server generations even though it's universal (actually, the firmware files themselves contain a package.xml file that lists no supported systems, which for the iDRAC means all, and the same works in the catalog but is never used, I know this because I made my own catalog generator out of frustration...) Does someone at Dell update these things by hand???
While we're at it, why is the catalog so outdated in general compared to the support website, I had to resort to scraping that, and the json for it is obfuscated with ceaser shift...
Fun fact, the 15th gen lom card is electrically compatible with 16th gen servers, and physically fits the dimensions, except Dell decided to add metal tabs that deliberately block you from inserting it. I cut those tabs away, and it fucking works!
Oh yeah, there are PERC variants meant for blades that have essentially the same hardware, and hell, they even kinda work in rack servers, but the firmware is different and it doesn't properly show which slots the drives are in. It would be cool if firmware could be reflashed, but maybe I'm asking for too much from the company that makes physical DRM for their parts.
R760xa and cables, do I need to say anything more?
Why did you put non-hostswap fans in R7515, and why the fuck did you put the QR code for the serial ON THE BOTTOM of the thing, which means you have to get the damn cable out for each fan and remove it so you can scan it... did you hire an apple designer for this???
Old iDRAC versions can't verify the signature of newer update packages, so if you want to update the iDRAC you have to extract the image from it and install that, which still works...
I was too busy complaining about all the other things, but the fact you "need" a license to use some features of the iDRAC is criminal, the hardware is already there, I paid for all the hardware, and it is bricked by software demanding a "license". I know most "enterprise" hardware does this shit, and it should be illegal, everyone who even thinks of it should be sent to the gulag and forced to develop open source software.
BOSS cards often fail to update firmware on M.2 SATA drives.
iDRAC shits itself with some rNDC firmware and starts showing the NIC status as unknown.
With some device faults the boot process gets stuck at "Initializing firmware interfaces..." and you don't even get to know which device is the culprit, so you have to take everything out...
On 15th gen one RDIMM dying will usually throw everything else off, good luck identifying which module is the issue when you've got 16 or more of them.
On 15th gen+ the iDRAC has to boot up first before the server is allowed to turn on.
Compellent.
OS10 needs a license, unlike OS9 and earlier...
Please just use screws to hold PCIe cards in on towers, those stupid blue plastic things break, don't make springs out of brittle plastic!
Why can't the password complexity setting be changed from iDRAC settings in BIOS, and why does it throw the error AFTER you try to exit and save?
The X520/i350 card uses the same firmware package as the i350 only cards, and at some point they stopped supporting the X520 card, but the iDRAC still thinks that's the same thing because the component id matches and tries to use the incompatible firmware anyway, which fails, so you have to go get the exact right version that will work.
Putting servers aside, I had to deal with their shitty office PCs at one point and the power supplies on those like to die, and that's a problem because they're absolutely proprietary.
Even the dell technician couldn't figure out why one of these wasn't turning on after the PSU got replaced, until it magically sprung to life some time later, to this day it remains a mystery.
Newer servers sometimes fail to report a dead CMOS battery.
It takes ages for storage to show up in the iDRAC, and the PERC battery also. Somtimes the PERC battery status never shows up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯